Some days have a void that no amount of paletas or chocolate chip cookies can fill. I'm not saying NOT to try those things. I certainly have tried my best with those remedies over these past few months. Some days, the emptiness, the space, is so apparent, despite our shared universal home. The longer you live, the more you lose. The more people you lose. I'm not sure it will ever be the same. That void has reshaped my heart, but I am strong. My heart is still beating. I'm searching for ways to fill that void, filling the space so the emptiness doesn't feel quite so vacant. My heart feels broken, but I'm filling the cracks with gold. Golden sonshine and laughter. Son-shine. My boys make me feel glad, they make my heart feel full, mended. They are the sonshine of my love. They give me a sense of purpose, or if not purpose, urgency. The fleeting nature of it all. It makes me want to build things, do things, experience life with them. Living in the moment. This, right now, is as good as it gets. Right now. Some moments may not feel 'good' on the surface. But we have that moment still. And that is something. Filling up the cracks with golden sonshine and laughter.