The following is an account of my experience with the Bluebird essence from Lovers Tribe.
It wasn’t that I felt any control over the situation, or that there even was a ‘situation’.
I did feel less ‘whole’ than I used to believe I was.
So much of what changed - everything that changed, I guess – stemmed from the birth of my son. Becoming a mother, well, it’s something I could have never imagined, the way it went about, anyway. It is a strange dichotomy: being blessed with this miraculous little creature, beautiful and magical, yet something within stirs with unease. Those heartstrings plucked for the last time, the death of one for the birth of another.
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” –Osho
This is one of my favorite quotes, and I’ve used it often in the past two years. People will tell you that having a child changes your life. I’m not sure I understood what the magnitude and method of change would be. I tend to have a more fairy-tale imagining of existence… and I am stubborn. Being a mother is perhaps one of the most selfless acts one can witness. Your own needs are pushed aside when the little one needs something (just recently I have been able to give back some more time to myself – it is also important to take care of yourself so that you can be a better caregiver!). That old life I had grown accustomed to was something wrapped up in self-centeredness and narcissism. It took tremendous forces to rip me away from that, so deeply planted were my roots. It took something violent and eye opening, something so close to dropping off into the abyss to wake me up into this new world of caring for a new person. With this new awakening came amazing bursts of happiness, but they were paired with heart-breaking bouts of deepest despair. I admit that a part of myself stayed buried and hidden away, crouched down and cowering, a shadow of my former self.
I do consider myself very strong. A warrior. Brave. Still here, having faced darkest fears (though with the defeat of one fear, another, even stronger, will always rise in its place – fear should have no place within us, only love and acceptance).
What drew me to the Path of the Bluebird? “Feel Joy” – its accompanying card reads, and “Speak Truth; Be in Harmony; Sing”. Within the perfectly blue bottle, it contains blue morning glory and desert willow (two of my absolute favorites – though it’d be hard to come across a plant I didn’t like for one reason or another). It sounded enchanting. Joy was something hard to come by most days, too. I felt that there were certain things, areas in my life, that needed improvement, but I really didn’t know how to implement those changes or really even where to start. I had general ideas, nebulous and elusive, with few answers only recognized sporadically.
The package arrived; I unpacked the contents. It was all I could do to just sit and look at the beautiful little bottles and accompanying cards. I was so stuck that it took me almost a week to even open my bottle up. I read the card and tried to figure what would be the best way to anoint my body with the potion. I figured that it didn’t matter in which way if it wasn’t specified, and experimented with different combinations over the next month or so. I tried to make special effort to pay careful attention to any areas that were particularly energy hungry or feeling ‘off’. It seemed that the sweet smelling liquid would infuse love and calm into those areas that needed it most, and I truly believed that the Bluebird was something special from the first moments I first began to use it. It has wonderful scent – delicate and fresh, yet with underlying notes of power.
The effects of the mixture were fairly swift, in comparison to the amount of change in my stagnant period prior to, and within a week I was noticing a difference in key aspects of my life – so much that I was a bit surprised, but pleased. It wasn’t that things were more in focus per say, it was more like all the mud had settled from the lake of my mind, and with all the extra clear space I could better utilize my energy to make positive changes and decisions. The solutions to key problem areas began to fall into place like pieces of a giant, universal puzzle. Organization, productivity, and creativity all increased dramatically. Time management became second-nature, and choosing what was the most beneficial area to work on at the moment was a simple task. It was like I had been given the secret and now knew of the passageway through the mystery. I began to smile at the thought of having the ‘secrets’ being shown to me (though I don’t much like the word ‘secret’ as it implies that it should be kept from others; I feel very strongly that those who search out the information should be given that which they seek, and will offer help if it is within my abilities).
I began to feel much more balanced in my moods. This is not to say I stopped feeling down. I just stopped feeling down all the time. I also experienced the opposite - up-swings - but mostly I felt right in the middle: neither up nor down, just being. To me, this was indicative of being in harmony (I concede that everyone’s definition of being ‘in harmony’ is probably different, and by no means am trying to say this is how everyone is living or should live; I simply am trying to lay down my thoughts surrounding a very personal experience, which surely would be something unique for each person. Very few things seemed important enough to cause alarm, and small things were simply let to pass and forgotten without a second thought.
The singing part – I thought it was funny, that the Bluebird would allow you to sing, and plus, I already sang. Or so I thought. The more I think about it, the subtle ties between the singing and the bluebird are more apparent. Blue is the color of the throat chakra, after all, and bluebirds I would assume have a beautiful song (never having the opportunity to hear them myself).
Well, the singing part is definitely as true as all the others – so much that I unabashedly belt out songs or music as it comes pretty much wherever I go now. In the car (if my toddler lets me…), at home, along with the radio or along with any little ditty that blooms in my mind. In essence, the singing feels like an off-shoot of the ‘speak truth’ aspects of Bluebird: whatever is dwelling within my chest must come out, in words or song.
The speaking the truth was another one that I thought would not be a very noticeable change. After all, part of my practice of the 8-limbs of yoga is truthfulness… so there wouldn’t really be any change, right?
To put it mildly, no, I was not right at all. The speaking the truth aspects of coming into balance and harmony were actually the most surprising (and very beneficial to my wellbeing, and hence my ability to feel joy… they are all interconnected, and I have begun to recognize the greater workings at play here). For most of my adult life I have practiced restraint on speaking unnecessarily – even in times when I felt that I would have liked to speak, I did not. This led to a tremendous amount of conscious and subconscious burying of feelings over the years. With meditation (seated motionless, contemplative styles or active practices, as in asana or painting – anything that settles the mind is good meditation, I believe), I have been able to clear myself of much of the emotional buildup that has occurred within. However, I was unable to commit much time to meditation prior to my ability to better allot my time for activities, and I was unable to do that well until I started using the Bluebird formula…
Still, I speak the truth, but do not feel the need to make excuses for feeling one way or another, especially when talking to someone who feels differently than I do. I simply am making a statement about how I feel about something – there is no wrong answer to that. I don’t feel hesitant to speak, afraid that I may say something ‘wrong’ – I feel that my input is valuable, just as the opinion offering differing viewpoints is valuable. We are all different – I feel that those differences should be embraced, as they are what make life interesting. Whether we ‘agree’ or ‘disagree’ with said differences is of no consequence. The differences will be there regardless of how we feel about them, so there is no reason to fight against them.
I view the Path of the Bluebird as a vessel to bring about positive change. A catalyst of sorts in that it speeds up the process. I knew what I wanted to make happen in my life, I just didn’t know how to grasp for it or how to make the necessary changes. Bluebird cleared my vision and allowed me to clearly prioritize things that better my life, my relationships, my businesses. I am grateful to have the sight to see the answers as they lie in plain sight all around, but are often obstructed by the silt of the soul. Bluebird helped me settle the turbulent waters within myself, and from that mud grows the lotuses of the mind – dreams and ideas coming into fruition. Oh, my friends, the lotuses are blooming in abundance!
Playing around with my guys at the zoo - and a loooong lens at super fast shutter speed (so I didn't have to lug my tripod around).