Blessings...
5/14/2018
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I took both of these photos on May 14th. The first one was taken this year and the following image was taken five years ago, in 2013. Five years ago today was my son's due date. I went into labor that night and spent the following 100ish hours in labor followed by an emergency c-section. Intense is too light of a word to describe it. "Hellish," as my current Dr. referred to my labor, and subsequent lengthy hospital stays for both myself and my new baby, seems to be a better description. I can look back on it now and appreciate aspects of the whole ordeal, but it was a shock to me at the time. I took a long time to heal, emotionally more so than physically. My whole world was taken and shattered, and I was left to pick up the pieces and try to reassemble them into something that made sense, meanwhile caring for a newborn and putting my own needs aside. It was a long time before I was able to give myself the time I needed to process and continue to heal.
My 'little' one will be completing his fifth trip around the sun this week, and the new little one is completing 7.5 lunar months. I feel I have learned so much on this journey, and yet still have so much to be revealed to me. I am blessed with a beautiful family, and have the support of a lovely village. This pregnancy has been so different in just about every way, including the fears brought about by the huge losses of dear ones due to my increased exposure to such events suffered by friends and family. I am enjoying this time as much as I can, appreciating the feeling of life growing within my body, moving and kicking me, as I know this will be my last pregnancy. While I have fears of the upcoming labor and delivery, I have hopes of a better birth experience as well. As my doctor says, talking about my last birth, "we can do better than that."
My 'little' one will be completing his fifth trip around the sun this week, and the new little one is completing 7.5 lunar months. I feel I have learned so much on this journey, and yet still have so much to be revealed to me. I am blessed with a beautiful family, and have the support of a lovely village. This pregnancy has been so different in just about every way, including the fears brought about by the huge losses of dear ones due to my increased exposure to such events suffered by friends and family. I am enjoying this time as much as I can, appreciating the feeling of life growing within my body, moving and kicking me, as I know this will be my last pregnancy. While I have fears of the upcoming labor and delivery, I have hopes of a better birth experience as well. As my doctor says, talking about my last birth, "we can do better than that."